26-06-02, 16:18 GMT+10#1
> Actual letter of resignation from an employee at
> Zantex Computers, USA, to
> his boss.
>
> His boss apparently resigned very soon afterwards !
>
>
> Dear Mr Baker,
>
> As an employee of an institution of higher
> education, I have a few very
> basic expectations. Chief among these is that my
> direct superiors have an
> intellect that ranges above the common ground
> squirrel. After your
> consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers
> and myself during the
> commission of our duties, I can only surmise that
> you are one of the few
> true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a
> network administrator, to
> explain every little nuance of everything I do each
> time you happen to
> stroll into my office is not only a waste of time,
> but also a waste of
> precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to
> network computer
> systems, and you were apparently hired to provide
> amusement to myself and
> other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to
> understand the concept of
> "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will
> never understand
> computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary
> still gives you too
> many options.
>
> You will also never understand why people hate you,
> but I am going to try
> and explain it to you, even though I am sure this
> will be just as effective
> as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac
> has more personality than
> you ever will.
>
> You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly
> looking for fault in
> others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about
> you that may have
> worked for your interview, but now that you
> actually have responsibility,
> you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their
> talent will cover for
> your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial
> evolution, you are the
> blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs
> at. Managers like you
> are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.
>
> Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change
> without you getting a full
> frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my
> resignation, however I
> have a few parting thoughts.
>
> 1. When someone calls you in reference to
> employment, it is illegal to
> give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say
> to hurt me is "I prefer
> not to comment." I will have friends randomly call
> you over the next couple
> of years to keep you honest, because I know you
> would be unable to do it on
> your own.
>
> 2. I have all the passwords to every account on
> the system, and I know
> every password you have used for the last five
> years. If you decide to get
> cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list",
> which I conveniently
> saved when you made me "back up" your useless
> files. I do believe that
> terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed
> favourably by the
> administration.
>
> 3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take
> pictures of your
> mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you
> were going to take
> pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you
> forgot to erase them like
> the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say
> I have never seen such
> odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you
> that those have been
> copied and kept in safe places pending the
> authoring of a glowing letter of
> recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I
> hate having to correct
> your mistakes.)
>
> Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of
> recommendation on my
> desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to
> anybody, and all of your
> little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to
> the public. Never f***
> with your systems administrator. Why? Because they
> know what you do with
> all that free time!
>
>
> Sincerely
>
> Darryl Brewer.
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